Ways to Break the Ice With Your Roommate Pre Move-In Day

By Danielle Wirsansky on June 18, 2017

Selecting to live with a random roommate in college can seem intimidating. Though you go through a small questionnaire process the college uses to fit you with a roommate you’ll be compatible with, it is hard to wait until you meet them to learn about them. Here are some ways to connect with your roommate before move-in day.

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Start with social media.

Most everyone has some form of social media nowadays. Friend your new roommate on social media and start up a message thread with them where you can ask each other some basic “get to know you” questions. You can check out each other’s profiles and learn important information about each other. It can make it a lot easier to find common ground for the two of you if you follow the same pages or like the same things on social media. You can become a part of each other’s lives earlier when you have fewer expectations for each other.

Video chat/Skype online.

This will allow you to see each other face-to-face and start chatting before meeting in person. Connecting via social media is a great first start, but this brings you closer together. Sometimes, interacting without being face to face can cause communication to be misconstrued. If you can talk face to face, it is always a better idea so that what you say remains clear.

You will also get a feel for each other and see if your real life personalities will collide or not. It is better to know that in advance than after you have moved in together and it is too late to move.

It will also be easier to for you to begin to set ground rules for each other and see what needs to be done to make your living arrangements work as smoothly as possible. It is better to get pet peeves and other concerns out of the way. For example, if one of you has asthma then it may be a good idea for the other roommate to know. If you have health issues like these, you can set the boundaries you need to, like no spraying perfume or burning incense in the room. You want to be upfront about these kinds of issues so that there is no resentment later on.

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Try to attend the same Orientation.

Of course, meeting each other in person is always the best option if it is available to you. Traveling to go meet each other might be out of the question, but you will both be required to attend Orientation, so why not kill two birds with one stone? If your orientation requires a night stay, you can also room together and give living together a test run. You can help each other acclimate to the new college environment so that both of you get into the new rhythm that college life has to offer. You can also explore campus together in between sessions, try out the dining halls, get your books, and have your ID made.

You can also discover if the two of you are simply incompatible for living with each other. You want to make sure that you can live peacefully together, and if you cannot even do that over an orientation weekend, then you most likely won’t be able to do it for a whole semester or two either. If it is not going to work out, then at least you have learned it before really moving in with each other and there is still a chance to switch rooms and figure out a new situation.

Create a Roommate Agreement

A roommate agreement is something that most on campus housing requires you to fill out and honor. It is similar to what I mentioned in a previous point about setting ground rules that if violated are deal breakers for one of you. This will also help you to establish your relationship by setting boundaries early on. If you feel uncomfortable with your roommate having overnight guests, you need to say so. If you want your roommate to ask you before bringing people into your shared dorm room, then speak up. Make sure you are vocal about what you want and need to happen in order to have a positive experience with your roommate. Do not stay silent about issues that are really important to you. Be honest and open with your. And of course, be willing to compromise too.

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