In Case of An Emergency, Press 1, Open your First Aid Kit, and Hurry Up and Wait

By Helen Bansen on February 20, 2013

A couple weeks ago, a friend of mine at school did something really, really stupid.  Impressively stupid.  Like, “wow, where did you get that idea and what on Earth made it ever sound good?” stupid.  She took a massive amount of pills and other drugs, and then decided to go to bed.  She thought “hey, if this kills me, whatever!” and didn’t tell anyone about having taken it.  She spent the night that followed in a haze, unable to do much more than stumble to the bathroom and puke.  And puke.  And puke.  Everywhere.  All over the hallways, the carpets, the walls.  Everywhere.  Which, I’m sure, was really fun to clean up.

The point, however, is not to admonish her for having done that, but to give you all some advice on what to do if someone needs to go to the hospital.  So below is Helen’s Guide to Emergencies in two parts.

PART ONE: REALLY SERIOUS EMERGENCIES

1. If someone is puking profusely, and they can’t stop.

Take them to the hospital.  Regardless of cause, be it drugs, alcohol, food poisoning, or a stomach bug, if you are a college student and someone is throwing up a lot, it is pretty much time to call some paramedics.

2. If someone has been sick for a long time and is still getting sicker.

My roommate is just getting over having “walking pneumonia”, which sounds about as horrible as it is.  She was sick for two solid weeks, and then it just started getting progressively worse.  She couldn’t sleep, she could barely move around our dorm room without getting exhausted, and her breathing was awful.  Her school work was starting to overtake her, because she couldn’t really focus long enough to do it, and could barely make it to the dining commons, much less across campus to class.  She went to the doctor, who gave her antibiotics, but she couldn’t really get better here.  So she went home for about three days, which turned out to be just enough to get her over the hump, and she started improving.  And then allergy season started.  But that’s not her fault.

So in that case, I would recommend: GO HOME.  It is not worth it to potentially get everyone around you sick or allow your situation and health to deteriorate.

3. Someone is expressing a desire to do themselves some type of bodily harm with intent to do so.

This is a situation where you should, no matter what, call some type of authority.  If you live in a dorm, this could be an RA, or it could be the paramedics.  If someone tells you that they want to hurt and/or kill themselves and they have it planned out, it is absolutely necessary that someone be with them at all times, watching their behavior.  Erratic behavior is a sign that they could be in immediate danger to themselves.  If they express remorse, say “I’ve done something stupid” or make some comment similar to that, or seem to be behaving erratically or in a manner similar to drunkenness and/or drug induced stupor, contact an authority as soon as possible. If they don’t want you to call, or they say they will hurt themselves if you call, call anyway.  It’s never a bad idea to be safe.

4. Someone has fallen off their bike/fallen down the stairs/hit their head/done something stupid

If you see blood, call.  If you don’t see blood, but they’re acting strange, call.  If they aren’t moving, don’t move them, and call.  If they sneezed and fell over, they’re probably okay.  If they are unconscious, call.

PART TWO: RUB SOME DIRT IN IT (First Aid Kits 101)

What any first aid kit needs, and how to use it:

1. Band-aids

I hope you know what these little beauties are.  I went through about 3,000 of them before I turned 6.  There’s a reason band-aids shouldn’t have Barbie on them.  I’m not sure what the reason is, but I assume it has something to do with the fact that I legitimately wore them just to decorate myself.  Like, all of myself.

Basically, if someone has a little cut or scrape, put that on there.  BUT, you’ve got to clean it first.  Which is why you need:

2. SOAP.  I’m not joking about this.  And I know you have memories of when you fell down and your parents washed it with soap and you cried and hated them for about 20 minutes.  But this is serious business.  Wash that cut or scrape with hot, soapy water, then rinse it, then pat it dry.  Got that?

1. Wash with hot, soapy water.

2. Rinse, gently.

3. Pat dry (do not rub it dry, this will hurt a lot)

Then apply something like

3. Neosporin (triple antibiotic ointment), which will stop it from sticking to the band-aid, and from getting infected.  It’s magical.  Use it liberally.

4. Gauze and tape

For larger things that are in places where you need to be able to move, this is good stuff.  Secure the gauze with the tape, and other than that, follow the directions listed above.

5. Tweezers

For splinters, man.  Not for your eyebrows.  Those things are rough.  If that doesn’t work, you can try to use a needle (which makes me cringe at the thought) but try not to pick at it.  That only makes it worse.  It will eventually swell from the fluid found in your skin and make its way out.  If it doesn’t and gets infected, head on over to the doctor and have it removed.

6. Rubber gloves

You might someday be cleaning the cut, scrape, burn, or other injury of someone else.  And you’ll want to have a barrier between your skin and their blood.  That’s always something that’s true.  It’s never, ever fun to be covered in someone else’s blood.

7. Ice packs

They’re great for bruises, cuts, scrapes, minor sprains, hot days, night-sweats, fevers, etc.  I’d really recommend having some of them around.

8. Ace bandages

They’re good for wrapping things, and holding ice packs and giant pieces of gauze to large injuries.  And they make great belts!

There are a lot of other things that you can add to a first aid kit.  Mine, for instance, also has an emergency chocolate bar, which mysteriously gets replaced with a fair amount of frequency…

But anyway, ladies, (that was an all-encompassing “ladies”, let’s change up those gender-norms!  Yay!)  Life is full of little (and big) surprises.  Sometimes, you fall down, sometimes, your friends swallow lots and lots of pills, and sometimes, you just want a Barbie band aid.  There are different things you should do in all of these situations, and I hope I helped you out in figuring them out.

What we really know is that, in the end, it doesn’t matter how simple things are, and how little you get hurt in your life.  No matter who you are, get used to the bumps.  No one gets to go all the way around.

 

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